


Imagine Being Normal

by ThisObjectIsNotAToy



Category: Fantasy - Fandom
Genre: Tag As I Go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29285292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisObjectIsNotAToy/pseuds/ThisObjectIsNotAToy
Summary: The pain of liking someone who you can’t be with, no matter what your heart says. Based of my life but changed to be a good story ;-;





	Imagine Being Normal

**Author's Note:**

> WIP, might stop writing idk.

Unfortunately, love doesn’t know patience. Love doesn’t know when to go away. If you have ever liked a friend, you will know what I mean. I lent my head on her shoulder as the ferry departed. That one brain cell I had muttered something about backing off, but it was rare for her to be this close, and with Alara not around. Alara. I couldn’t do this to her, after what I had done last time.  
I remember laughing at them, sitting there making ship names for them as they ignored me and my friends. Us assholes deserved it. We were all 11 and 12, and so were they. He had never gotten over her, but she broke up with him because of us. Now Alara secretly liked Maddie, but it wasn’t so secret because she had told me and one other person. I was someone she trusted with one of her biggest secrets, but my stupid heart had to mess everything up. 

-

We sat on the ferry and a box of drinks sat across from us on the seat. The rest of the group lent in as Georgie played songs we had been forced to dance to in our primary lives. I had suspicions that Georgie was homophobic but couldn’t pin her to it. I came out to my basketball team last year, and the next season, Georgie left the team. She had joined a team with Cate in it though, and there was no ignoring that gay energy.   
My phone pinged, and looking down a text from my dad say there;

Remember no drugs, no alcohol! Have fun!

I groaned, and lent back in the ferry bench. Ever since I had turned thirteen, two years ago, my dad had been paranoid about me and illegal activities. I don’t recall him ever mentioning something like that before, and now every time I head out. I know he thinks he is protecting, maybe even helping me,  
but just because I smile at my phone doesn’t mean I am buying crack.   
“Jinx! We’re here!” Maddie shouted. I put down my phone and walked off the ferry. The gap between the ferry and the deck loomed below me as always. I knew in theory courage was the triumph over fear, but to be honest it feels more like the ignoring of fear. It crept into my life, hunting down weak thoughts and turning them into nightmares. The only thing I knew that helped was picturing myself with wings, and that was pretty limited when I got badly freaked out.  
We wandered across the wharf to a beach, and suddenly we were talking about crushes. Everyone knew I “liked” someone, but no one knew who, as I had told them this before Alara decided to fill me in. Georgie started talking about her millions of exes and we all joked around, saying “ha that’s kinda straight” and “imagine ever being in a relationship”. It used to be stupidly fun, talking about our supposed feelings, but again and again I was forced to dodge questions like my life depended on it. In the stories love was ignored, pushed down until it vanished. Either I was clingy or love was a lie. There is something that is imprinted onto your heart, never truly leaving you, but becoming a part of who you are. As Maddie joked about Alara’s history with relationships, I could see the hurt on her face. It wasn’t meant to be an insult, but words can be the bakers knife, serrated and slow cutting as it chips away at a crumbling person. Love doesn’t wait for the right person, and Lord do I wish it did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments.


End file.
